"I Have to Have It"

2Samuel 13:15

15Then Ammon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Ammon said to her, "Arise, be gone!"

All day yesterday God kept bringing to my remembrance the story of Tamar and Ammon. God did not bring the situation to my remembrance for the purpose of rape though it is a clear demonstration. The word says there is nothing new under the sun. And no situation known to man is new.

Tamar was a princess and the beautiful daughter of King David. She was the full sister of Absalom and the half sister of Ammon. Now Ammon knew Tamar to be a vigin but the word says he loved her and was distressed over her. So Ammon approached his buddy Jonadab. Jonadab told him by what scheme he could grab hold to Tamar's body and he used it. Just before overtaking Tamar, she attempted to reason with him saying if he wanted her that bad perhaps the command that kept him from legally being with her could be eased because King David was the ruler. The NKJ Study Bible mentions that King David provided the example of taking what belongs to someone else when he was with Bathsheba. But the word says Ammon would not heed Tamar's reasoning and overtook her.  But once he satisfied the way in which his body wanted her, his love turned to hate.

Ammon had no desire to show restraint though he knew he would disgrace Tamar. The NKJ Study Bible says that Ammon was intent on satisfying his lust regardless of the consequences. And that his attraction clearly turned to disgust. This is what Lust looks like. Once the craving is satisfied one no longer wants what they once desired. Lust is real and is often confused with love. Yes, the situation of rape is real too. But rape doesn't need to be the situation for lust to operate. Lust is not a respecter of sex. Lust can appear both in man and woman. And not all men and women are innocent as Tamar just to be clear. Ammon had the "I have to have it" scenario but once he got it, he realized he no longer wanted it. The fact that he did not approach the situation with Tamar in honesty but rather a scheme gives the foundation of what his intentions were.

A dear friend of mine shared something the other day that he wishes to teach young women under his care, "just because a man wants to sleep with you doesn't mean he loves you." And that is what Ammon demonstrated. He was never in love with her. He only desired to sleep with her.