John 11:35-36
35Jesus wept. 36Then the Jews said, "See how He loved him!"
The
pain of grief is real. Even Jesus felt the pain of grief. He felt it
when he found out John the Baptist, his cousin, was beheaded and he
sought out solitude. Jesus was even closer to Lazarus, a friend. The
grief caused him to weep. I have been in a Job like experience for many
days because in that time 3 people, two family and one a love had
departed. Just prior to these deaths, the enemy tried again to take me
out which has been tried before. As one woman put it, "The enemy has
attacked you greatly because you are so close to purpose." This i knew
indeed. I knew attacks would come but not like this. I was barely
through the grief of one before the next hit. I began making references
to
Neo's battle with Agent Smith in
The Matrix. Some understood while others did not. Agent Smith's job was to get rid of
Neo because
Neo
was a threat. The devil's job was to discredit Job so Job would curse
God. The devil's argument was that Job only worshiped God because He had
protected him from tragedy and loss. God knew Job's heart was faithful.
Job's friends sat along side job for several days and said not a word.
Job's friends did well til they spoke with blame against Job, accusing
him. We must be careful how we treat others while they are hurting.
Eventually, God answered Job and addressed Job's friends for hurting him
while he was in distress. Job forgave. I am blessed that there are a
few who have been sitting by my side in my grief, hearing my cries of
pain and have cried with me. There have been some who have not
understood my grief because they had not experienced the number of
losses or even the type of losses but in their silence they have prayed
and offered hugs.
Ruth's grief was not recorded. Jacob's grief
over the loss of Rachel was not discussed but his love for her was
expressed through favoritism of Joseph. Jacob's love was well
intentioned. Nonetheless, I finally understand a pain my Mother
experienced that has dug so deep. Before I could get words out my Mom
was kind enough to even give examples of what she knew I was
experiencing. My Mom knew I was getting through the first of the
grieving process with the first death and to see grief hit me so soon
again in the way she had experienced, she had empathy for me. See, when
my Mom grieved, I didn't know what to say to her. All I could do was
hold her. I knew grief from a different perspective, not hers. However,
in my grieving, I didn't dishonor her grief because it was different. My
Mom was kind enough not to dishonor my grief. Those whom God has sent
to help me have honored my grief, giving me room to breathe, talk, weep,
etc. I love and appreciate them for it in ways I don't know if I can
ever explain. For those who have not understood, I certainly forgive
them and love but I've had to separate myself for my own well-being. I
have been accused of many things in this place, like Job. But I know in
this place, the Word says we are to bear the burdens of one another. The
Word also says that our trials are indeed for others so we shall know
how to comfort them the way we have been comforted. I pray no one knows
these kinds of griefs because the pain is real. But know that God will
send others to help and pray when you have not the words. This is not
about a lack of faith. Remember, Job came under great tribulation
because his faith was seen as great.
