Saturday, October 22, 2016

The Pain is Real

John 11:35-36

35Jesus wept. 36Then the Jews said, "See how He loved him!"

The pain of grief is real. Even Jesus felt the pain of grief. He felt it when he found out John the Baptist, his cousin, was beheaded and he sought out solitude. Jesus was even closer to Lazarus, a friend. The grief caused him to weep. I have been in a Job like experience for many days because in that time 3 people, two family and one a love had departed. Just prior to these deaths, the enemy tried again to take me out which has been tried before. As one woman put it, "The enemy has attacked you greatly because you are so close to purpose." This i knew indeed. I knew attacks would come but not like this.  I was barely through the grief of one before the next hit. I began making references to Neo's battle with Agent Smith in The Matrix.  Some understood while others did not. Agent Smith's job was to get rid of Neo because Neo was a threat. The devil's job was to discredit Job so Job would curse God. The devil's argument was that Job only worshiped God because He had protected him from tragedy and loss. God knew Job's heart was faithful. Job's friends sat along side job for several days and said not a word. Job's friends did well til they spoke with blame against Job, accusing him. We must be careful how we treat others while they are hurting.  Eventually, God answered Job and addressed Job's friends for hurting him while he was in distress. Job forgave.  I am blessed that there are a few who have been sitting by my side in my grief, hearing my cries of pain and have cried with me.  There have been some who have not understood my grief because they had not experienced the number of losses or even the type of losses but in their silence they have prayed and offered hugs.

Ruth's grief was not recorded. Jacob's grief over the loss of Rachel was not discussed but his love for her was expressed through favoritism of Joseph. Jacob's love was well intentioned. Nonetheless,  I finally understand a pain my Mother experienced that has dug so deep. Before I could get words out my Mom was kind enough to even give examples of what she knew I was experiencing. My Mom knew I was getting through the first of the grieving process with the first death and to see grief hit me so soon again in the way she had experienced, she had empathy for me. See, when my Mom grieved, I didn't know what to say to her. All I could do was hold her. I knew grief from a different perspective, not hers. However, in my grieving, I didn't dishonor her grief because it was different. My Mom was kind enough not to dishonor my grief. Those whom God has sent to help me have honored my grief, giving me room to breathe, talk, weep, etc. I love and appreciate them for it in ways I don't know if I can ever explain. For those who have not understood, I certainly forgive them and love but I've had to separate myself for my own well-being. I have been accused of many things in this place, like Job. But I know in this place, the Word says we are to bear the burdens of one another. The Word also says that our trials are indeed for others so we shall know how to comfort them the way we have been comforted. I pray no one knows these kinds of griefs because the pain is real. But know that God will send others to help and pray when you have not the words. This is not about a lack of faith.  Remember, Job came under great tribulation because his faith was seen as great.