Sunday, November 18, 2018

The Highs and Lows

Job 1:10

Yesterday, I posted a heartfelt post to my Facebook page, not for Get Your JOY In The Morning, but to Joy TJ Riley.  I did it under the privacy setting of friends and not public because yet again, I have been stricken with grief twice in two weeks. I have been trying not to make so much of my pain public. As I have been told in various ways, seminars, etc to only share the successes. However, GOD has said differently. And even one mentoring program I subscribe to has echoed the transparency of a success journey. Some of the lows have to be shared to demonstrate the balance of a faith journey. It is also to highlight that GOD is still GOD even in the lows of a journey. Oddly enough, after I shared it, a friend responded that each time he reads the posts, especially when I experience loss, he can't help but to think of Job. And that was exactly what GOD wanted him to receive in the message. Adversity is not always because of what we've done wrong. Sometimes, it really is because of what we've done right and/or who we can be on the other side of it.

Noticing a pattern. With every major success, major loss follows. And with major loss, success follows. I don't always get a break before the losses hit. Sometimes, more loss than success. Not that GOD didn't warn me about this time period in my life 27yrs ago. I just didn't quite understand the dream, no faces. And in riddles til 2yrs ago as I got closer. The loss has seemed to be more than I can handle at times. I'm sharing because this is not make believe. I can't make this stuff up! Writing this through tears. Losing a cousin and a classmate in two weeks and advanced problems with another family member on another side, just following the show run. Upon the May debut show run, I had major loss the day before my birthday/2 weeks before the show and one following. The lessons: love GOD and others, it's okay to show them, make the most of your time, create memories and by ALL means, follow your GOD given purpose!

Some  people have made light of the amount of loss in my sphere. I do not fault them because it is a lot. However, it makes me more determined, to move forward in my GOD given purpose. Both losses in the last two weeks were from cancer. Losing my cousin hit me because I realized when we were all together two years ago, burying the last living matriarch of the family, my cousin was ill then, we just didn't know. She had a peace about her, was kind and light hearted. She was the daughter of the woman i am named after. And it pained me even more so because my elder had to bury her own child. Knowing that was almost my Mom 10years ago gave me even more concern.

The classmate, was one I had the pleasure of ministering to others with through song and music in college in the University of Maryland Gospel Choir. I spent my morning yesterday making calls to those who rarely check their Facebook pages or don't have them. I also spent most of yesterday with our live recorded CD on repeat, especially on the song my classmate wrote. I wanted to remember the joy of that time and of his presence. I found myself crying on and off because in reality, though he is now at peace from his battle, he wasn't even 50years of age. Some in my generation, also known as generation X, like some of the millennials, are not having the joy of making it to ripe old ages as our beloved baby boomers. And it gives me more determination to live out what GOD has purposed for me, not man, because none of us knows how many years we have remaining. We take time for granted, when outside of the breath of life, it is indeed a precious commodity. In living the highs and lows, remember, the word says that God's power is made perfect in weakness.