A Package Deal

Matthew 1:20

 

20But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.

 

 

Joseph was contemplating divorcing Mary because the baby she carried in her stomach was not conceived with him. But God had another plan for Joseph. Joseph would raise God's son, someone else's flesh and blood that was not his. From an earthly and emotional standpoint, it's not an easy job by no means.

 

Most people don't go around planning to raise someone else's child. It's unfortunate that sometimes stepparents get a bad reputation as a whole because of the mistakes of others. I will tell you that I understood blended families before my stepfather came along. But when he came, it was during a time in my life when I really needed a lot of love and extra special care. When a child is abused, they don't feel so good about themselves. The teenage years are difficult enough but I had an additional cloud over my head and in my heart. I will tell you personally that I have a lot of respect for stepparents because it takes a lot of love to raise children you didn't help conceive. It takes love for children in general but even more love because you realize the natural parent was with someone else and likely loved someone else before they fell head over heels in love with you.

 

My stepfather passed away nine years ago. I had a tough week with little reminders of things that happened the week before he died. So yes, I have shed a lot of tears over the last few days leading up to Father's Day this year. Father's Day 2004 I was dealing with some issues. I was in the minivan with my stepfather crying on his shoulder. I was thanking him so much for being there for me as a father. He attended every awards ceremony, choir and dance performance he could. He even displayed his culinary skills for one of the an international program I was in back in high school. He bought needed items for the move to my first place and even parted with sentimental items of his to give to me for my move. As I cried on his shoulder he said, "How could I love your mother and not love you? You are part of her. It's a package deal." My late Dad used to carry around my picture in his wallet just like he did the children that were from his loins. As we helped my mom plan the memorial, I was crying on my stepbrother's shoulder, he shared with me that our late Dad talked of me just as he did them and knew I was loved.  I had no idea at the time that God gave him as a living example of sixteen years for me to understand how to love children I had not birthed. Within a year after he died, I became a volunteer mentor through the education company I began working for, part of a team working with children through AWANAs (Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed), a godmother for the first time and had been set up by God to teach Vacation Bible School for the first time in what I didn't know was the set up He used for being nominated to teach Children's Sunday School. My mentor in education, Baltimore City School Board Commissioner Mrs. Jerrelle Francois knew I was running from the call to teach Sunday school because I didn't think I was capable and equipped. She has spent more than 30 years loving, teaching and caring for children she had not birthed. She had a heart to heart with me that God confirmed later that night. When God chooses you, He will equip you.

 

They say parenthood is the toughest job you'll ever love. Well loving, caring and teaching children not from your loins is a close second. Stepparents are still parents and they deserve respect too. The parents who deal with the complicated exes, and the children who sometimes don't appreciate them because they know, it's a package deal. If you are a stepparent, I extend a bow to you, because you are displaying the love God as Joseph did. I extend a bow to you because you deserve to be appreciated for the love you give. I want to extend a bow to educators who teach children too because they are the ones outside the family who help stretch and strengthen children and it takes love to do it well.