A Clear Divide

2Corinithians 6:14

14Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers . For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness?

Many understand that those in Christ are not actually to marry those who are non-believers. The question of "why not" often comes to mind. The reason is that the foundation will not be in unison. Your beliefs shape your view and are actually to be a guide to how you speak and act. If the foundation is not in sync, how do you expect to build? The house will be lopsided. Even if you share the same basic principle of "there is a God" and the "Holy Trinity exist", are you even on the same page?

I woke up the other day with an old song from Ashanti in my head, "Rain on Me". Her song was about the difficulties in abusive relationships. If you view the video you will see that Ashanti's character was in entertainment and she had a boyfriend/spouse, though it's not clear what he did. The video starts with Ashanti examining her face after an apparent beating from the boyfriend played by Larenz Tate. He attempts later to fix the abuse with sex, which is really the only area the couple had in common in the video. Later they attend a star-studded event and she is embracing her stardom. He on the other hand, feels left behind and you see the anger and jealousy with his clenched fist. He goes off and has sex with another woman in their home. Ashanti's character realizes it's time to go. But let's go back to the partner. He was jealous of her success and it shows that he was uncomfortable with her growth.

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

When you are with someone who is not growing and cannot appreciate the mutual benefit that comes with growth in a partnership, then you cannot walk in unison. You cannot move forward together. One person attempts to move forward and the other attempts to hold them where they are. Ashanti's character was in a new arena and place in her life and the boyfriend/spouse felt like he didn't fit. Here's the issue. They were never on the same page in the first place. Ashanti's character was always going somewhere forward. And the boyfriend/spouse was always going nowhere fast. He may have looked good but that means nothing in the grand plan if mentally and spiritually they were not attempting to go the same road regardless of the vehicle. You don't have to do the exact same thing to be in sync but it certainly needs to be for the purpose of going forward and healthy for you. My assistant pastor did a physical demonstration of two people holding hands and not in sync. When one person wants to go forward while the other persons wants to just stand still and they are holding hands, what happens? The one going forward has to drag the other forcefully to move. It becomes a wrestling of strength.

Do not enter relationships and partnerships where the balance is so off. This can one day lead to a jealousy within the relationship that can attempt to kill the spirit of another. Know who you are and what place God has you in. You are a thriving, living  person who deserves to grow and deserves those who appreciate your growth. And the right person ought to have the ability to grow also alongside you. This scenario is not reserved to women with the wrong men. For I was in a bad place with the wrong man. He was once someone who wanted to grow but had the wrong woman and then embraced anger and bitterness. This scenario is not only reserved for romantic relationships. It is with any exchange that is supposed to be equal when there is a clear divide.