Matthew 26:56
56But all this was done that the Scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled. Then all the disciples forsook Him and fled.
All week long I have been listening to Wess Morgan's version of "You Paid It All" and even watching the YouTube video. I was watching it with the remembrance that Jesus knows what it means to be betrayed. Jesus knows what it means to be left utterly alone. I know I have referenced the life altering dream I had in November 1991 just one month after I became a baptized believer in Jesus Christ. I was sixteen and had not been raised in "the church." I believed in God long before I gave my life to Christ but I was not raised as a devout follower of Christ to forsake the ways of the world. The ticking clock on the wall that kept being inserted throughout the dream, standing on the far side at the top of a city watching the midnight black sky and young people destroying themselves and dead bodies of youth lining the city skyline and a voice saying with great arrogance, "you cannot save them all" and the ride I was on where I was utterly alone, no family and no friends on the way to my death is something hard to forget. I remember awaking with such fright that put a Bible underneath my pillow the way my late grandmother used to do. Not understanding at the time that just having the Bible present wasn't enough but I had to speak the Word over myself and the fear I felt. At the time, the enemy of my soul knew something about a call on my life and purpose I had no knowledge of yet.
I know what betrayal feels like because I have experienced it more times then I care to count. And I am not just talking about from the perspective of abuse. As you walk into your purpose in life, you begin to understand that people you thought understood where you are going and what you are doing actually cannot see all that God has shown you and even if they can, their belief in you to carry out what God has shown you becomes the defining moment as to whether they stay by your side or leave. Up until recently, I had not listened to Bishop T.D. Jakes entire sermon on "the gift of goodbye." It's actually very powerful with the premise that some people in your life are not meant to stay and it's not they have done anything wrong, it is just their time in your life is complete. Yet, the sermon still does not negate the episodes of betrayal that lead to goodbye. When I FINALLY realized that God wanted me to turn the daily devotionals into a book, it was August 2009. The person that was to be a conduit to assist me was short lived. We would both take separate paths to complete what God gave us. Rejection led them going to the path of self-publishing. God said, He had a different path for me. I was heckled for following the path God directed to me because of the fear of rejection. God told me I would know by the end of 2009 who my publisher would be. God is not a man that He should lie as the Word says. He showed me things that person could not tell me and it angered them to the point that it was posted on my wall on Facebook in a tone that God showed me was not sincere. Comments were constantly made to me and they attempted to discredit what God told me. Trust me, after having a near death experience in 2008, I had to learn very quickly that listening to God is ALWAYS in my best interest because He says what I cannot see. As the book was released in 2011, their comments faded and slowly and then we drifted to the pointed that we would no longer speak. They had no idea that I was supporting their book and sending their information to others because the topic was of importance. Eventually God separated us completely. I wished them well. And then God sent to me five people for me to help. I did not search for them. But they were hungry and they knew they had a passion deep within them to complete something bigger than them. I appreciate now all that God has done in ways I cannot explain. As the word says, He uses everything for our good. So I BLESS GOD even for the episodes of betrayal. Because God still gets the victory.
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