The Pain is Real

John 11:35-36

35Jesus wept. 36Then the Jews said, "See how He loved him!"

The pain of grief is real. Even Jesus felt the pain of grief. He felt it when he found out John the Baptist, his cousin, was beheaded and he sought out solitude. Jesus was even closer to Lazarus, a friend. The grief caused him to weep. I have been in a Job like experience for many days because in that time 3 people, two family and one a love had departed. Just prior to these deaths, the enemy tried again to take me out which has been tried before. As one woman put it, "The enemy has attacked you greatly because you are so close to purpose." This i knew indeed. I knew attacks would come but not like this.  I was barely through the grief of one before the next hit. I began making references to Neo's battle with Agent Smith in The Matrix.  Some understood while others did not. Agent Smith's job was to get rid of Neo because Neo was a threat. The devil's job was to discredit Job so Job would curse God. The devil's argument was that Job only worshiped God because He had protected him from tragedy and loss. God knew Job's heart was faithful. Job's friends sat along side job for several days and said not a word. Job's friends did well til they spoke with blame against Job, accusing him. We must be careful how we treat others while they are hurting.  Eventually, God answered Job and addressed Job's friends for hurting him while he was in distress. Job forgave.  I am blessed that there are a few who have been sitting by my side in my grief, hearing my cries of pain and have cried with me.  There have been some who have not understood my grief because they had not experienced the number of losses or even the type of losses but in their silence they have prayed and offered hugs.

Ruth's grief was not recorded. Jacob's grief over the loss of Rachel was not discussed but his love for her was expressed through favoritism of Joseph. Jacob's love was well intentioned. Nonetheless,  I finally understand a pain my Mother experienced that has dug so deep. Before I could get words out my Mom was kind enough to even give examples of what she knew I was experiencing. My Mom knew I was getting through the first of the grieving process with the first death and to see grief hit me so soon again in the way she had experienced, she had empathy for me. See, when my Mom grieved, I didn't know what to say to her. All I could do was hold her. I knew grief from a different perspective, not hers. However, in my grieving, I didn't dishonor her grief because it was different. My Mom was kind enough not to dishonor my grief. Those whom God has sent to help me have honored my grief, giving me room to breathe, talk, weep, etc. I love and appreciate them for it in ways I don't know if I can ever explain. For those who have not understood, I certainly forgive them and love but I've had to separate myself for my own well-being. I have been accused of many things in this place, like Job. But I know in this place, the Word says we are to bear the burdens of one another. The Word also says that our trials are indeed for others so we shall know how to comfort them the way we have been comforted. I pray no one knows these kinds of griefs because the pain is real. But know that God will send others to help and pray when you have not the words. This is not about a lack of faith.  Remember, Job came under great tribulation because his faith was seen as great.

The Trial Formula

Hebrews 11:6

6Buth without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

To believe that Jesus Christ is Lord, it takes faith. But what is faith? The word says in Hebrews that Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. We often miss the verse right after it which it says, For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. Ah...there's that word, "testimony." The root of the word testimony is "test." The origin of the word "test" is Latin meaning earthen pot. According to wikipedia, earthen pots were made of clay and before they could be used they had to be heated or placed in fire to solidify the shape for use. The purpose of a test is so when you come out there is a testimony. On the opposite side of that, the enemy tries you because he doesn't believe your faith is where it is. The word says the enemy is the accuser of the brethren. Remember, he did it to Job because he didn't believe that Job really had faith.  The word says the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy in John 10:10 but Jesus comes that we may have life and life more abundantly. What does that mean? It means that the enemy's sole motive is to discredit you like a prosecutor attempts to discredit a witness on the stand. God allows the trial to prove the opposite which is called the defense. But it takes faith to enter a trial and to come out of it. So then what is the purpose of a testimony? Your testimony isn't just to increase your faith, it is also to increase the faith of those who are to hear it. Ah...another key word, "hear."  If the enemy can get you to a place where you no longer have faith, doubt, etc, then it stops you from gaining the ear of anyone who could possibly believe. Remember, the enemy wanted to be equal with God and that is how he lost his place in Heaven. Misery loves company. But back to the word hear. Did you know Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines hear as, 1)to perceive by the ear, 2) to gain knowledge of by hearing: learn 3)heed also:attend 4) to give a legal hearing to or take the testimony from?  In Romans 10:17 it says that faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. So when your testimony is complete, those who hear will increase in their faith. But in order to hear, people have to be listening. Listening and hearing are not exactly the same thing. Merriam-Webster defines listening as 1)to pay attention to in order to hear, 2)heed. So if someone isn't watching or listening they can't hear the testimony and therefore increase in their faith. The biggest way for someone to miss it is via a distraction. The distractions are the obstacles the enemy throws in your way so no can see past them, not even you. If you and those around you cannot see God in the trial because of the distractions, then the enemy will keep them from hearing the testimony and you from giving it and they will not grow in their faith. And the word again says above, that without faith it is impossible to please God. 

The formula is the same but used in different ways, How you see it, assists in determining the outcome. In other words, you cannot lose your faith during the trial. If you seek God as the word says above, even in the trial with faith, He will reward you.

REMINDER: SPECIAL EVENT

I look forward to seeing  you this Saturday! In addition to the availability of my book, " Get Your JOY In The Morning," I will also be giving away a free children's coloring book to parents who purchase a copy of '"Shh Don't Tell" which helps start the conversation on what is appropriate and inappropriate touching. I am a survivor of abuse and I want to help you and your family be prepared for this upcoming school year.

Intention Counts

Proverbs 12:2

2A good man obtains favor from the Lord, but a man of wicked intentions He will condemn.

When someone called Jesus good He said who is good but the Father. Many people will call themselves good based on their works. When the prophet Samuel was sent on a journey by the Lord to find a new king to replace King Saul, everyone was concerned with outer appearance. But the word says God doesn't look at outward appearance but at the heart. The "outer appearance" referred to in scripture isn't just for the physical appearance of a person. It also refers to their works. How so? In the book of Proverbs, motive is referred to several times. Jesus even spoke about those who will claim to have done works in His name but He will say He doesn't know them. Why? It boils down to intention. What is intention? Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines intention as 1) a determination to act in a certain way, 2) purpose, aim, end. So it's not just about doing something good but it's about "why" it's being done. 

Everyday we are seeing people who "intend" to harm others. In some cases, it is very premeditated or planned out. These issues go beyond the waters of the U.S. to Europe, Asia, Africa, etc as well. Jesus said to love thy neighbor as thyself.  The apostle Paul said the Commandments delivered by the Law of Moses can be summed up in the same statement. Basically, if one loves others then they are less likely to want to harm someone. What about those who "only look out for number one."  Their motive is to put themselves above others. So if given the choice to gain at the cost or misfortune of someone else, they will see the other person as inconsequential. Therefore, the love thy neighbor as thyself is null and void. But Jesus said to do unto others as you want done to you. Does anyone take this statement to heart? In Galatians Paul says we reap what we sow and God is not to be mocked. So anything done whether good or bad, ill intention or not, it too shall be done unto us. The one who does good not just to be seen as "good" but who in their heart seeks to love, then the Lord shall see because He is the one who sees all, especially what man cannot see. And it is He who gives favor. Love never fails the words says and God is love. The intention of God's love counts more.

SAVE THE DATE

SAVE THE DATE-

I LOOK FORWARD TO CONNECTING WITH YOU

"Getting Home"

Psalm 27:1

1The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?

Last week on Wendy Williams, Roland Martin discussed what parents can tell their African-American children in the face of violence and excessive use of force. He said their job is to "get home." Some of you may not be ready for this revelation. When it comes to children "getting home" many African-Americans are thinking specifically about their male children. I, as a female had my own encounter with the police at age thirteen. It was one that could have easily ended my life. 

The school year had just started. It was an early evening one Friday in late August. My Mom had been working multiple jobs to make ends meet. She left me money to get a sub and my favorite soda from the store around the corner. I took the path through the courtyard and the little walkway which divided our complex from the back of the storefronts. Nothing seemed unusual. I went into the store to pick up my favorite choice of 6inch sub and soda. I stood in line, paid for the items and out the door I went. My route back home was to be the same as I come. Just after I went through the walk way I heard a flurry of whispers. I was still around the corner but figured it must be a group of people entering the apartment building I was coming around the corner of. 

And then I saw it! Before I could blink to get a clear visual of everyone I heard, I saw the barrel of a 9mm hand gun pressed to my forehead. That split second seemed to last eternity. On the opposite side of the 9mm handgun was a White police officer. He said nothing. He simply looked like he had an adrenaline rush and I was going to be the unfortunate recipient of his adrenaline.  I was afraid to move or speak so I stood still only looking at his eyes. I knew if I did, it would be too late and someone would be calling or visiting my mother at work to say her child was shot point blank. I had walked into the middle of preparations for a drug raid. The culprits were a young white couple in the building. I went to school with the female's sister. There were no barriers to separate the public from the police. They were attacking all entrances of the building. It took a minute for him to realize I was not part of the raid, nor someone they were after. When he lowered his weapon and motioned his head for me to go. I ran!! I ran so fast and refused to stop until I was inside the home. My nerves were bad and my hands were shaking. When I sat down to eat I could barely hold the bottle of soda in my hand. I was experiencing anxiety. The real anxiety that at thirteen years old, I was one second away from being shot by a police officer. I had no weapons, I was not a drug dealer, user or anything. I was simply an African-American teenager getting home. 

What Roland Martin said was real to me last week. I do understand. I do not hate the police. They have a job to do. Many of my family members have served this country in uniform. But it does not take away the fear that is as real as the air you and I breathe. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it is not real. Praying for safety and protection of children is a must. Police officers understanding cultural differences in an effort to protect and serve is a must.  I will NEVER forget that day! It was real and anyone who EVER says that it isn't doesn't know what it means to experience it. Read the book "Black Like Me"  by John Howard Griffin. As a White man he transformed himself to become a Black man in the south during segregation.  He had a taste of what life was like for an African-American.

You Are Valuable

Psalm 139:14

14I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that  my soul knows very well.

I know that many of you if not all of you have heard or seen what has played out. God brought to my remembrance my first experience with racism.  I was six years old when I became aware of the color line. However I was eight years old the first time I was consciously aware of experiencing racism. My Mom and I had just moved to the DC/MD/VA area. I was attending a new school. It was during Autumn. I was frequently being picked on by two little White girls in the class. One was shorter than me and one was taller. I had a habit of ignoring them. But on this one particular day, things took a turn. It was lunch time. I had my favorite Wonder Woman metal lunch box. I got up from the lunch room after I finished eating to use the restroom. I thought the door had closed behind me. As I went into the stall I saw two sets of feet. The two White girls were standing outside of my stall as I finished. They were hurling insults including the "N" word very loudly. They were saying I thought I was better than them because I was built different. I only repeatedly asked to be left alone because I didn't do anything to them.  But when I opened the bathroom stall door, the White girls pushed me back in. My instinct kicked in. I had my lunch box in my hand. I swung and hit the shorter girl in the face. Both girls were so appalled of my fighting back that they ran out and told the teacher. I was the one who got in trouble. When approached by our teacher,  I was told I should've told the teacher they were bothering me. But how was I supposed to tell when I couldn't get out of the stall without fighting them or letting them beat me? It was real. I was being conditioned by Whites and those in authority that defending myself and standing up for myself against racism and violence was wrong. However, my Mom taught me a different way. I suspect the teacher knew why and that was the only reason my Mom was not called. Conclusion, fear and hate are learned behaviors.

I am sharing because as my Pastor shared with our multi-cultural church family yesterday, violence against African-Americans at the hands of authorities is real and has been happening for a long time. He even confessed about being stopped by police for the color of his skin four times in a 24hour period for the same reason. There are many examples which can be shared. As African-American, we have been struggling with violence against us at the hands of authorities since we were brought to this country. It is the same reason I decided long ago not to hate. I simply have spent most of my life proving I have value, until Jesus showed me that because He created me and everyone else on this earth that we are all valuable. You are loved by God because you are His work. Though I have a previously scheduled event this Wednesday, our church is providing a prayer service and conversation open to those who wish to attend. For those who want to attend, you can reach out to me and I will share it with you. 

Blessings